/and my heart BEATS again ;

Saturday, January 01, 2005
a new year. =)

ahhh. 1st january. new year. =) time flies so fast.

weee. already 2005. so fast rite. haiyoh. next year O levels le lehx. VERY fast sia. blehxx. haa. ya. will remember sec 2 de life foreva n eva n eva. class 2/6, mr seow n teachers, adventure camp, charity bazaar, Beijing school trip, KL band trip, sec 4s in band, chong pang CC performance, cultural nite, december band camp, Opus II, and many many more. ya. up next this year will be new 3/7 class, new teachers n frenz, SYF 2005, Opus III, and perhaps that international band festival. yaa. so must adjust le. become more mature. -grins- try. haha.
will badly badly miss *RP* partners, shavin, nicholas, arev, Pris n Pearly, Chocolatitano, SARE, and others. =)
aniwae. i'm having a hard time trying to accept the fact that my sister's p6 now. ahh. she's so immature. unlike me. xD lolz. PSLE year for her. bleh. ha.
and i have my new year resolutions all typed down le!! but not going to show u . coz too long le. BLEHX. ask from mi bahs. i SEND u. LOLZ. xD

btw. wanna add more ppl to my list of 'thanks' le. lolz.

ian chai [ChaiYang], Jared [liew wei/HU JI HUA!] ->
haha. yeps. just as gillian said in her blog they'r always in our white-kies conferences making us laugh n stuff. lolz. yups. realli realli nice guys. hard to find le. lolz. ian loves the guitar. n jared plays neopets. LOLZ. and both of them have problems trying to remember my chinese name. woo.

BNSS ppl ->
ya. ppl like asmah, kelly, sarah, kelvin, shuyi, rafidah, khairul, yonglin, bettina and the list goes on and on and on and on. ya. they'r realli a friendly lot whom the regent band has made close frens with. yeah. will remember the time i went to KFC with da few of them till nite. lolz. remember.
bedok north + regent = BEDERGENT BAND! =D

sean ->
lolz. the guy whom people like mi will always bulli and he will still play along with us. lolz. xD n he's da one who always reminds us about this and that like our father in band even though he's also the same age as me. lolz. ya. dont worri the dept will complete it ON TIME. xD ok. lala.

started my new year by having a conference with jared, gillian, ian, hayati n faeliq at midnight. LOLZ. and we kept reminding each other it was "last year" not "yesterday" or "last week". [actually we were realli bullying each other xD] yups. haa. and guess what. jared's my twin brother le. =x lolz. oni that some ppl dont wan ren4 him. aiyoh. nvm bahs. lolz. haha. ya. then jared told us bout his dad. woahh. disciplineee. tsk. scary.

then slept on da phone again. ahhh. sorri. lolz. then woke up. supposed to go church. but couldnt find my mom coz she left le. aiyoh. lolz. then yeah. msn. the whole day.
grace told mi she moving le. in 3 weeks time. out of cck. to kovan. ahh. so far. =( sob.
watched da re-run of da heart foundation show. sly n taufik dedicated You Light Up My Life to a guy who just passed away. ahh. so touching. =(
havent do my homework lehx . howw. shud i do it anot?? and i havent got all my books. AHHH. HOWWW.
blehx.went to lot 1 fer dinner. ya. then went popular. alamak. is like all de sec 3 books are all with da 'N' level books. craziness. oni found one pathetic express maths book. rest all NA or NT or 'N' level book le. hurr. came back home. my study table is in a MESS. boo ya. shud clear it. haha.
hurrr.
btw. my dad told mi we'r moving house this year le. blehx. i'll miss cck. sobb. hope dont have to change school. =( blehx. but he wont tell mi where. ahhh. lolz.

You Light Up My Life
by Leanne Rimes / [Taufik + Slyvester]

So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You've come along

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love you
Never again to be all alone

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong
When it feels so right
cause you
You light up my life

// da caterpiller. lolz.

// moving. moving. -chants-

btw. someone told mi i'll look damn mature if i wore frameless specs instead. -grins-
ahh. go pack study room table. byees. =)

- i love you
fifteen yrs

Friday, December 31, 2004
people around mi. year 2004. =)

second entry today.
yayys. saw what grace did and i thot that yeah. i also wanted to do the same thing. =) think shud realli thank these ppl bahs. yeps. instead of like keeping wateva u feel inside. so. erms. here goes. =)

WA1 ->
heys. my church buddies. esp my shepherd Cindy! yeps. got to know God a lot more better than I had use to through them. ya. love them both for being such a cheerful and happy lot. ya. =D WestA1 rawkss!

hayati and fatin->
hayati. the closest junior i ever had. go out with me to lot 1 and wateva de. yeah. she knows quite a lot bout me bahs. yeps. =)
fatin. the only sec 1 junior left in Bb clarinet section. the oni one who dared to stay on and also brought joy to the section. yeps. lurve ya! =D

eileen ->
snuffy. my ex section leader. the one who is taught me how to play da very first note on the clarinet n the one who has allowed me to play the Eb clarinet. always thought she was a great person coz she can run the section well and stuff. yeps. she graduating le worx. but will remember her de. =D

siying ->
this is the [da jie!] gurl who has taught me that hardwork + attitude is everything. one more time. hardwork and attitude. is EVERYTHING. =D

charles ->
the guy who always said he wanted to 'kiang' with us but always never. ha. treat him like my kor and he's one of the few guys who shares with me bout himself and some other ppl. -grins- and a realli promising fren. =)

zeting ->
ha. [ xiao di! ] last year one head shorter than me. now same height le. lolz. he is my only class-bandmate and so yeahh. in class he's also the ONLY one who reads all my hp sms-es coz he knows where the secret box is -grins-. so he always knows whats going on around mi. n i always know whats going on round him coz i read HIS hp sms-es too. lolz. banana man. =X

yuting ->
the gurl [er jie!] who's also with da family with mi, zeting n siying. and soon to be charles. haha. the gurl who cares a lot for everyone and can realli advice ppl sometimes. yeps. and always take neoprint with mi de. hurhur. lolz.

S.A.R.E ->
the group which had brought mi a lot of memories from sec 1 till now. and though some of us maybe in different classes, hope u all will still remember the S.A.R.E team and the Bukit Timah Hill. =)

zhenjun and sarah ->
both are those who are almost always out with mi if we'r out on a band concert or something with sarah. both are the few of the seniors who told mi how they feel bout this and that and whatsoeva. yeah. =D

dominic ->
the serious one who is a really friendly [n smart =D] guy who knows when to this and that. yups. a good f.horn player bahs. was quite good frens with him for a while till the exams came le i think. yeps. learned a lot from him. ya. nice fren. =)

weemin ->
the dao one who just thinks that he's being bullied by others. ha. yeah. always telling mi that maths is important. yeps. thankfully he's one of the few who dont sleep early so i can at least not talk to the wall at nite. yupss. =)

grace, james, rebecca ->
grace. sometimes tell my secrets to her. -grins-
james. the one whom i ask lots and lots of qns.
rebecca. someone i met who is realli frenly n cute cute cute n also yet another Eb clarinet player .

gillian and faeliq ->
the anderson gurl and sji guy who goes out with the White-kies to anywhere. yeps. be it to a movie or anything. and those are the two whom i have phone conferences with the most. ya. btw. gillian's dimples r fake. i drew them on de. =D

jeremy ->
my uncle. who taught mi a lot of stuff though sometimes i realli get blur n have to try to understand. ha. v good bass clarinet player. and a very 'zi dong' person who just took away my Eb without mi knowing. xD

mr lim ->
my school band conducter whom i always learn something new from him at every single band practice. and yeah. he likes to suan ppl when he's happy. lolz. ya. guided our band with patience and everything. realli realli admire him bahs. yeah. =D

wenyan & arev ->
the couple whom i have learned almost everything from. regained all my confidence which i had lost n everything thx to the both of them. yups. they encourage mi a lot and give a lot a lot a lot of great advices. will love them both foreva =D

everyone else...
yups. everyone is important bahs. yeah. wanna thank God for letting me step into your life for wateva purpose even if it is to just say a simple hi. =D

weeeeee. tts bout it. if i forgot anyone or something. sorri worx. kkies. =))

- i love you
fifteen yrs

opus & grad nite.

o yeah. concert is over. grad nite is over. updating.

Opus Day. Ytd.
went to lot 1 with hayati, kexin n jocelyn to buy postcards to write stuff on it fer ppl. yeah. then took the bus back to school mahs. met mengyi, ain n stephanie on the bus. so qiao. then the worse part came. the bus crashed into some car. and coz we [the band members] were STANDING.. then all of us either fell on the floor or just slammed into something. -whack- yar. so my arm slammed against a chair. but no pain. haa. hmphh. then hayati they all fell and injured a bit. then mengyi couldnt move her elbow. o boy. was like wondering how on earth were we gonna PLAY during opus. argh. ya. then got one little toddler slammed into da glass panel. then he cry non-stop lor. ouch. then the bus driver got off and talk duno wat with da car driver. then take photo blah blah. after like. 20 minutes. go le lor. yeah. got off bus. THEN my shoulder begin to hurt. o man. dunno whether got something to do with da bus anot. arghh. then was like PAIN PAIN PAIN. haa. blah blah.
fall in and others. then went to VCH. siying realised she left her clarinet in school. like. ??? so she had to go back with Miss Beh. yeah. then had warm up and wateva lor. yeps. then run through a bit of the pieces. then saw some amb ppl n mr lester upstairs watching us. hurr. i got suaned by mr lim fer being nervous in loch lomond. =( wattt. hmphhh.
then gillian sms me say she NOT COMING. so sad. =(( sob sob. then was like. had run-through. then changed. lala.
then dinner. ate like so darn fast lor. blah. then ian sms. lala. ask where ticket booth. ya. lala.

then was like everything not ok yet then they tell mi go in le. huhh. was like -walk in- onto stage. unprepared. hurrr. my fault bahs. yeah. then blahhhhhh heard my name. 'becky' and 'rebecca' shouted out. ha. dunno who. think rafidah. lolz. =x haa. then concert. yeah.
1st half . erms. my Loch Lomond solo was ok bahs. american riversongs was better this time.
2nd half. liked bravo brass oni n someone to watch over me. only.
basically. it was so-so bahs. but erms. heard from a lot of ppl tt its not our band's usual standard. and " why regent band's standard drop so much all of a sudden huh?? " haiz. yeah. its true bahs. but we'll make sure our next opus will be up to that standard again or even higher. =)

then after that got photo session. haha. got loads of flowers n presents n chocolates. lolz. thx gillian, phoebe, cassandra, khairul, yonglin, jeremy, sarah, kelly, asmah, digambar, diwadeb, syaherah, bettina, bedok north clarinet section. and if i left out your name realli realli sorry coz i very 'luan' at that time. kkies. quickly tell mi .
gillian BLUFF ME. say nv come. hai mi nv give her belated Xmas card. haaa. saw ian they all oso. haa. gave jeremy dom n jason their cards lor. coz know they coming mah. lolz. =x
then took photo with MR LIM!!! -grins-
yeps. then left le. went back to school. yeah. then on the bus. de laypeng they all started a new thingy. bout me. I DONT WAN SAY. so malu. =( BUT ITS NOT TRUE HOR. hmph. BULLYYY ME!!!!! then at nite ate supper. then reach midnight mahs. so we sang zeting a bday song! =D lolz.
then got this sec 4 slide show. some of the sec 4s cry lor. yeah. v touching mahs. ha. then got talentime. n got give out cert. lolz. lala. then blah blah. amy gave wensheng the puzzle she completed for him and wensheng cry like woahh. ahh. made mi so sad. =( sobb. yeah. gave them their cards too. ha. =) then got section talk. so sad de. =( ya. then talk all da way to 4am. then chat with jennifer n siying till like. erms. 6? lolz. then sleep lor.
~~think mr lim was v disappointed with us. oni that he dont wan say. but. arghh. i dont know la.~~

Today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZETING!!!
woooo. oboe fren. lolz. xD

slept till 7:30. 1 1/2 hours. lolz. wake up. keep this n that then fall in. yeah. felt a bit sick le. no voice. lolz. ha. then coz raining so waited for it to stop. yeah. then went to foodcourt with kexin at bout 8 mahs. yeah. so ate breakfast there. then dunno how we talk will bout 11+ . then kexin say she want eat chicken rice. then i was like. orh. eat lunch here ah. lolz. yeah. then coz both of us kept laughing bout this n that mahs. then got a lot of ppl staring at us norx. so malu. dont know where to hide my face. haha. then jocelyn came. yeps. then go my house. play here n there. lala.
then went online. yeps. thx jeremy n mark n sarah very much. for like talking to mi about it. yeps. feel much better le. =) -grins-
then later pei them walk home lorz. since its like so near. haha. yeps. lala.
then no more. lala. countdown to 2005. lolz.

// yups. thx a lot. =)

// dang wo men tong zai yi qi.

// new year resolutions. =D

yayys. cant wait for 2005. lolz. weeeee.
changed my wishlist board le. yeah. go see. =)

- i love you
fifteen yrs

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
band concert thingies.

"concert is not supposed to be perfect de.if u dun make mistakes, it wun be a concert.if u want to hear a perfect song.juz go buy tokyo kosei recording.come concert for wat?"

"wat makes pple come,wat makes a concert popular,is cuz its fun.pple come to have fun de.it doesnt really matter how well u play the pieces technically.but muz haf tt atmosphere of fun if u want pple to enjoy e concert.relaxed and fun atmosphere.not nervous"

"juz go out there n whack,make a fool of ureself,dun worry,the more stupid u look,the more pple will laf,n they will enjoy"

hurhur. courtesy from jeremy. my uncle. lolz.
i shud realli stop being nervous. =x

- i love you
fifteen yrs

1 more day to OPUS!!!!!!!!!

I'M NERVOUS!! oni like. 24 hours left??!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELAINE!!!!
lala. a member of S.A.R.E . lolz. the 'E'.

ahhhh. i cut my hair this morning. thx to my mummy. lolz. blehx. now my usual long-almost-reach-da-waist hair is now short-but-exceed-shoulder-length-by-A-BIT. yeah. and i have a slanted cut too. eeee. then now i cant even tie up hair properly without the sort-of-side-fringe being so SHORT. eeee. ok. nvm. in conclusion, i just have a CARROT TOP PONYTAIL now. hurr. just watch me during opus bahz. hope ppl still can recognize me. xD

went to CG meeting. haha. cindy wanting for me at da boon lay there at some bus stop. o well. first time there mahs. so was like the bus overshot the bus stop i wanted to get off and cindy was like looking so blurly at the bus wondering why my bus nv stop infront of her. LOLZ. then had to walk back. xD haaaa.yeps. had foodddd. beehoon n sausages with chilli or mayonnaise. sounds weird mah? lolz. lala. then yeah. was about to play truth or dare. then too bad had to leave le. yeps.
so we [me, cindy, jency, grace, phoebe, jolene, joanne] went to jurong point. yeah. then cindy shepherd mi mahs. then she kept laughing lor. AS USUAL. lolz. okkkk. lala. yeps. went to this christian book store. saw ben. then jolene said she knows him too. lolz. singapore is just SO small. lolz. then yeah. me n jolene got like a lot closer all of a sudden. coz of someone whom we kept talking about. then we bout found out we were sheep-cousins. LOLZ. =X haha. then went to Old Chang Kee. weee. lolz. then went home. lala. jency got 6 more tickets from mi to pass to wenyan. yeps. so tts it le. lala.

anyway people like jency cindy and MUCH more ppl had to put up with my 'I'M NERVOUS!!!' talks every now and then. xD u know who u r. =)
ahhh. i just realised that i have always been spelling Die Meistersinger as Die Meinstersinger. ahhh. lolz.

btw. thx to those who gave me christmas presents today. lolz. esp phoebe n cindy. weeeee. xD lolz. and those who wished me GOOD LUCK FER OPUS!!! -grins-
lurve all of u to bits!!!!!!!! =D

// b.l.u.e r.o.s.e.s! =)

// cards. and presents. for christmas. =)

ahhh. tml concert le. hao jing zhang. lolz.

Waiting... 1 more day to Opus...

- i love you
fifteen yrs

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
haiz. oni 2 more days.

ahhh. stupid tsunami waves. blehx.

got money from jolene today. n eugene n edmund didnt turn up. hmphh. nvm. meeting them tml. lolz.
went fer band. then was like. erms. can say. not our usual standard bahs. didnt give our best or something. even for the full run through rehearsal. didnt even know what i myself was playing or doing. argh. was totally distracted. haiyoh. shouldnt be liddat bahs. since on Opus got a lot of ppl will get even more distracted. yeah.
then today ms tay rehearsed Someone To Watch Over Me with the band too. lolz. niceee. haa. sarah said the part of the little lamb lost in -something- was kinda disgusting. and i SO have to agree with that. =x

went lot 1 to give kelly her ticket. then went to eat with jocelyn, kelly n hayati. yeah. walk walk. then went home. nothing much. yeps.
btw ppl. please rmb practice your instrument tml. LIGHT practice. oni scales n short this n that from pieces. kkies. =))

ahhh. those who wanna come for Opus concert.. can buy tickets on the spot at the ticket booth there!!! kkies??
this thurs. 7:30pm. but be there at least 15 minutes earlier. tickets at $10 n $15. at Victoria Concert Hall.
GO GO. lolz.

// yeps. must jia you kkies.

// little lamb?? -eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!-

ahhh. tml got CG meeting. yeah. =) yayys. lolz.

Waiting... 2 more days to Opus...

- i love you
fifteen yrs

Monday, December 27, 2004
heavy sec 3 books. blehx.

tired. muscles aching. ooooooouuchh. lolz.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN!!!
yeps. sec 2 band frenn. =)) weee. lolz.

went to meet jocelyn n hayati in da morning. with mum. yeah. then we took the train to yio chu kang coz want go my mum' fren de hairdresser shop. yeah. then reach there. received a call. say da shop not open today. haiyoh. lolz. so took the train back again. lolz. then jocelyn left her wallet on da train then she dunno. but lucky got a man tell her. lolz.
then later went to eat lor. yeah. then me pei hayati and jocelyn go cut hair at yew tee there. yeah. both of them cut short mahs. lolz. then while i was waiting .. saw this cute little 3 ear old boi cutting his hair. and he damn cute lor. innocently looking at the mirror lolz. then he kept tilting his head coz he was like following the scissors then the hairdresser had to like tilt his head back. soooo cuteeee. lolz. then hayati n jocelyn cut till like wooahhh. haha. =x go see bahs. lolz.

went school wif jocelyn n hayati. got only half of my books from the bookstore. so heavy sia. arghhh. lolz. curse those physics n chemistry n maths books. so thick. lolz. blehx. still havent add in POA texbook which is SUPER thick n DnT book. eee. lolz. then went fer punishments with section coz got ppl later then must run. lolz. yeah.went to ava room for intermezzo combine. yar. lala. then whole band came in then i update the ticket sales board. wahh. ticket sales jump a lot sia. +100 more lor. lolz. jia you regent. =)
lolz. then combine a bit here n there. blah blah. mr lim told us the schedule for tomorrow and others bahs. yeah.went lot 1 with others to eat. ha. pearly gave me my money le. lolz. ticket money almost all with me le. yayys.
then saw a magazine. inside got dunno wat " Which JC or Poly or Uni will u choose? " thingy. then got write reviews one. ha. went to read it. for fun. =x
meeting jolene, eugene n edmund tomorrow for money. weee. lolz.

blehx. looked through some of my books for sec 3. aiyoh. got a bit nervous when i saw the word " O level " on da front cover. yeah. though 2 years away but . yeahhhhh. lolz. o man. looked at chem book. want die le. like so so difficult liddat. physics book nothing to say. sob. why didnt i just take bio. boo. forget it. bio is useless. xD lolz. lala. learned from jacky. ha. maths they change book le. this one seems better bahs. realise that they nv gimme social studies book. AH. lolz. then blah. looked throughhhh. =x

// haha. O LEVELS. boooo.

// yo. wats up. -kexin!-

o well. tomorrow our FINAL combine . then its concert day. go go. =)

Waiting.. 3 more days to Opus...

- i love you
fifteen yrs

Sunday, December 26, 2004
eupho AMB & BBQ!! =)

blehx. wat a tiring tiring day. haa.

morning hayati came to my house. realised we were TERRIBLY late in meeting tim chua from sji. then we were like totally panicking. like. -HOW??!!- lolz. yeah. so we were like running around the house. haaa.then in the end nv go meet him coz we calculated by the time we reach there would be 11am le. 1 hour hour. arghhh. sooooo sooo sorri timothy. =x dui bu qi.

then my mum wanted to bring me n hayati to her work place coz hayati wanted to buy a ring or something. yeah. then there got mahs. so went norx. all da way to Little India. wooo. so far. lolz. reach there already lunchtime. so was like mum bought half a watermelon and a WHOLE honeydew and ask the stall vendor to cut. aiyoh. lolz. lala. then we ate lunch at her work place one of da empty shops there. yeah. aunt was there too. lolz. then later went to walk around coz shopping center mahs. yeah. very little things sia. lolz.
then went to look at the rings n earrings. blehx. mum's frens all saw me. and they were like " your daughter huh?? " " how old?? " "blah blah??" . ask a lot sia. lolz. then 2 of them kept squeezing and poking my face giving me, my mum n my aunt advice on how to keep MY face pimple-free. o man. lolz. felt sooo tortured. ha. then changed an earring. dunno go where. xD so now i'm earring-less. lolz. better find it soon. ha. then smsed gillian want go out mahs. then faeliq at home sleeping sia. lolz. =x lala. then went Old Chang Kee. and then me n hayati took da train to Dhoby Ghaut to meet gillian norx. yeah.

met gillian after dunno how long of looking up and down da BIG station just to find her. lolz. then on the train sat on da floor and kept talking. lolz. then reached Pasir Ris le. yeah. went into WhiteSands shopping centre n the eupho section of AMB except some were there le. lolz. yeah. me n vanessa liu kept teasing gillian. xD we'r so mean. lolz. then got this gal praveena.. yeah. gill they all kept teasing her too. lolz. then michelle came le. then we walk walk around. look for toys n BABY CLOTHES. lolz. then dressed da toys up. LOLZ. yeps. then went to the arcade. played bishi bashi. xD haa. then went to eat at MacD. yeah. AGAIN. lolz. then chat chat chat. eat eat. lalala. then took train back norx. yeah. =)
recieved call from tim chua. haaa. he dont sound angry. =) thank Goodness. lolz.

dororin called on da way back. said she got BBQ. ask mi go. so i ask hayati go too lorz. yeah. wanted to buy a card for her. so went up and saw ama, zhenjun n joseph. lolz. so qiao. they also going there lorz. haha. yeah. gave dor her card. lala. then more ppl came. so we went to her house lorz. yeah. at first stayed in her room and off all da lights. for fun. lolz. then came out and eat le. then got this small little kid kept playing with jordan. want pull down his shorts. then jordan totally had no peace. LOLZ. after jordan left, the little boy turned his attention to CHARLES . haha. poor charles lor. yeah. kana kicked and wateva by the little 3 or 4 year old boi. lolz. then we drank a bit of grape juice and wine bahs. yeah.
then something happen norx. yeahh. just wanna say that i realli admire our band boys. coz they realli dare to do this and that lor. whether for friendship or anything. so very very proud of them. =) haaa.

then went home. charles n dor still 'song' us home lehx. so nice rite. haha. yeah.
then saw someone lor. yeah. one of my sort-of neighbours who stay a few floors below me. yeah. nv talked to him other than " can i borrow your bike " when i was like p3? haha. then now he same age as me le bahs. haiyoh. last time he very very nice and sweet guy de. and charming. ha. now is like. yeah. he was hanging out with all those bad company. saw it for myself. yeah. he saw mi too bahs. coz was like -look at me-. haiyoh. so disappointing bout him sia. haiz. nothing to say.

// i dont like. that colour. and that animal. argh.

// heyys. realli admired u bahs for being able to stand up for this kind of thing. =))

// she's not like that. anymore. =)

ooo. tml got band. lala. lolz. byeee.

Waiting... 4 more days to Opus...

- i love you
fifteen yrs